"Volunteer" hours

I wrapped up my "Community Health Volunteer" hours today with a Central Ohio Diabetes Association screening and education event at the Ohio Family Opportunity Center on the south side.

I know George Carlin beat the subject to death, but the fluffy language bothers me, so let's translate the above:

I finished my required service hours for school by poking fat people in their fingers, telling them their body can no longer compensate for the Dunkin Donuts floating through their blood vessels, and then they picked up their food stamps while their squealing bastard children ran rampant around our booth. I assume they probably then went out and got more STDs and/or Dunkin Donuts. I then came home and tried to wash as much depression-stink and HIV off of me as possible.

I love society... especially when I get to "Serve the underserved!"

One highlight: Explaining to a middle-aged woman in front of her daughter what erectile dysfunction means.
She then turns to daughter and tries to explain it as, "You know, the penis doesn't get long, and grow..." and the daughter clarifies, "You mean his dick can't get hard?"